Consistent persistence

Hi, my name is Tracey and I'm an immediate gratification junkie.

As I wrote that, I was wondering snarkily whether they make a 12 step program for that, when I realized that THAT likely is the basis of many 12 step programs. Hmm….that's something I'll need to chew on for awhile.

At any rate, even though I really do understand and appreciate that "life is about the journey, not the destination", I guess I really need those goal posts along the way. And…my other primary aphorism is that "happiness is a measure of how close your reality comes to your expectations". Put those two things together, and you've basically got the key ingredients of my psyche. Given that, I guess that the fact that I've been a project manager in some way, shape or form for over 20 years shouldn't be a surprise.

So….if you apply those factors to my current goal of health and fitness, it translates into a plan with a timeline and a set of key milestones along the way. With regard to the weight loss milestones, I really didn't know what to expect this time, since I'm older and my metabolism is slower.

Given the 6lb reduction after week 1, I thought that a reasonable expectation for week 2 would have been 1-2 lbs, since I still have a long way to go to achieve my goal of 15 lbs. I am fully cognizant that weight loss gets much harder at a certain point, but I shouldn't be anywhere near there.

So, when I tell you that I lost 0.4 lbs at my weigh-in last Sunday, my disappointment and discouragement shouldn't surprise you. I know, I know…that's silly, and I should be pleased that I kept the weight off for another week, yeah, yeah, whatever. The fact remains, that my little heart sunk when I recorded my measurements.

Normally, at this point in the program, I would have reverted to my 5-year old self, and done the "sour grapes" move. Namely, deciding that the program wasn't working and found some way to abandon it. Perhaps it's growth, or maybe the fact that I had my boyfriend there to encourage me, but I'm happy to say that that's NOT what happened. To my delight, after I got done with my mini internal tantrum, my response was quite the opposite – I decided to work harder. Yes sports fans – that's a major leap.

I once bought a book called, "How you do anything is how you do everything" which is a workbook geared towards self-discovery. During this process, I'm realizing that the process of changing some of the tougher, more abstract behaviors might be facilitated by tackling a concrete problem. In this case, the issue is my need for constant reinforcement in order to continue on a path, which is something that I've struggled with my entire life, but have never figured out how to fix.

By continuing to "play the plan" as it were this time, I'm wondering whether it will help me avoid this behavior pattern in a different scenario… hmmm… more food for thought.

Anyway, to get back to the actual topic at hand, I realized that my metabolic rate (BMR) had decreased week-to-week, which means that my body was getting used to eating less, a slippery slope indeed. That's the amazing thing about a body – it's unbelievably adaptive. It's really not effective (or healthy) to "starve your way" to weight loss, since, up to a point, your body will literally go into "starvation mode" and lower the amount of energy required to maintain your weight. Rather, you need to combine healthy eating with a rigorous exercise regimen so that you focus on increasing the output requirements.

I decided to do just that, and made a commitment to maintain the healthy eating regimen I had established and step up the exercise portion. I haven't weighed myself this week yet, but I'm definitely feeling better, stronger and a tiny bit leaner. Regardless, my other promise is that I'm not going to let myself be controlled by these week-to-week measures. Rather, I'll use them as a reference point and will continue to persist.

My brain on a diet

I can't speak for the rest of humanity, but for me, changing my diet demands a LOT more from my brain than my body.

Case in point, most wild animals don't over-eat (yes, I know some domestic animals do..which is probably more evidence for my point). Our body knows how much fuel it needs based on the amount of energy expended, and it adjusts accordingly by sending signals to our brains to tell us that we're hungry. As Kurt Vonnegut talks about in his book Galapagos, the problem with human beings is our "big brains" that cause us to do things animals would NEVER even consider.

Think about these popular reasons for eating (and drinking for that matter): boredom, depression, anxiety, celebration and pleasure. Bottom line, whether we're happy or sad, alone or with a group, food and alcohol play a HUGE part in our day to day lives and our psyche. As a result, changing one's practices is bound to bring up a lotta stuff.

I think that ice cream is a great example of this. You know, the "I scream, you scream, we all scream" stuff. When I was a kid (and I can't imagine that I'm alone in this), my daddy would buy me an ice cream cone whenever: A) I got a good grade on a test, B) I got a boo-boo and C) just because it was summer time and that was what you did at night in the summer. Not to be too Freudian here and blame my parents, but what message could I possibly derive from this other than that ice cream is the ultimate food!! I ask you, what other food is used BOTH as a reward for a job well done AND to make everything all better???

So, to get back to my original point, food is the ultimate legal drug that we use both as a reward AND comfort. Man, that's one POWERFUL substance, dontcha think?

All in all, week 2 of the program went fine. I ate well, I exercised some of the time and I generally feel better. The problem started at the end of the week when it had been a full two weeks without alcohol, sweets, pasta, rice or bread of any kind. I did get a chance to go out to eat a few times, so my meals weren't completely boring, but let's face it, I cut out all of the major emotionally-charged food groups. I had a REALLY tough day at work on Friday, was in a funk and was craving one of my old favorite go-to foods, but thankfully, due to my will and my desire NOT to ruin my perfect 5s for eating, I did not succumb.

A triumph, you might say… well, yeah – on that front. But as a result, I turned to my other, non-food vices of laziness and shopping. Thankfully, Banana Republic has some GREAT sales going on right now, so the pocket-book impact was minimal, but still…what a complete weakling I am!

After over-thinking this last night, I realized that I am programmed to expect some kind of reward or indulgence after a job well done, and some kind of soothing after a difficult experience. Is that nature or nurture, I wonder? More importantly, is it something that can be overcome?

I don't know the answer, but as they say in various 12 step programs, knowing that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. People who know me know that I HATE being a slave to anything. So, the next step is to figure out how to conquer this. One way to avoid using my other standard go-to vices is to create different connections in my brain. So, instead of using food, shopping or sloth whenever I have a bad day, identify other, more healthy ones, like reading a book, or taking a bath.

While that's a fine short-term approach to prevent me from engaging in bad behavior, it really doesn't solve the root of the problem. Namely, I'd like to be able to have either a bad day or a great day and NOT feel the need to either reward or soothe via any external mechanism. Is that too ambitious a goal, I wonder?

I have no idea, but I think it's a worthwhile thing to strive for. If I go back into my past, the only time I ever got close was a very short stint when I was meditating twice a day, doing lots of yoga and was far more balanced overall. Something to consider…

The first week’s results

When dieting, I typically don't recommend weighing yourself every week, because it usually takes longer than that to see results, and your weight can fluctuate from day to day. Thus said, my eating and exercise regimen was so dramatically different this past week than the past few months, so I just had to check.

I'm sure that you'll all understand my shriek of delight when the scale showed a drop of 6 lbs and a loss of 2% body fat!!! Wohoooo!!! That was a great motivator and I was really excited as I went shopping at Whole Foods later that afternoon. I got lots of great veggies and lean meats and was looking forward to preparing some tasty and healthy meals.

Re the competition stats, my boyfriend had the same great results that I did, and he actually beat me by a measly 5 points for the week. No matter, I'll get 'em next week.

On the healthy eating front, I'm not a chef by any means. I have done some cooking in my life, but it's always with a recipe book and lots of measuring tools in hand. I have a bunch of friends who are truly talented in that area and are just naturals at it. I went to visit one of them while I was out in SF for the week, and I got a couple of great recipes that I tried out on Sunday that were fabulous. Who knew that I could eat Swiss chard and like it?? He even made brussel sprouts taste great.

Now I'm all set for the next week working at home – which can be a challenge when dieting. Wish me luck!

 

 

Early to rise

This is probably as good a time as any for a word on exercising in the morning. Let me be clear – I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I'm also not a night owl. Actually, I'm pretty much a mid-day person, if there's such a thing. I like being able to wake up at 7:30am, have breakfast before starting my day, and I'm usually in bed by 11ish. Unfortunately, when you work for a start-up and have commitments after work (especially when you're travelling), the early morning is really the only time when you can reliably dedicate 30-60 minutes to exercise. As I've said before, I'm a very logical person, and unless I wanted to fail before I got started, I realized that I needed to do the morning workout thing if I wanted to get anything but a big goose egg in the exercise column during my trip.

I'm lucky to be staying at a hotel that has a gym (of sorts), so, for the majority of mornings, I was on the elliptical machine at 6:30am, watching CNBC and doing my 30 minutes.

The thing that kills me is how many times I hear people tell me that they can't workout in the morning when I tell this story. I'll suspend disbelief for a moment and allow for the possibility that there are actually normal, healthy people who truly can't workout in the morning, but for the most part, I believe that it's more of a won't than a can't and that they believe by attributing their lack of motivation to some kind of biological limitation lets them off the hook.

For clarification, I'm not talking about people who can't do things because they have other obligations in the morning -- that's different. Rather, I'm referring to the excuse that their bodies just don't work in the morning. In my experience, the human body is an amazingly adaptable thing, and although I agree it's hard to get accustomed to, and you have to figure out how to ensure that you have enough fuel to get going, it is something that you can and do get used to in time.

Also, I'm not a fan of excuses or whining and when I find myself doing either, I think about all of the people who don't have the luxuries that I do, which helps give me a kick in the ass. For example, I don't think it would go over very well if I was in the military and tried to put a pillow over my head at 05 hundred hours and tell my Sergeant that I should be able to stay in bed since I'm not a morning person.

From a report card perspective, I certainly didn't get a perfect score for the week – or anywhere close to that in the exercise column, but I'm OK with that. The one thing that I know will make me fail is to beat myself up or feel bad about myself. I am proud that I got a solid 3 for most of the days, and I'm definitely feeling better now that I'm exercising on a regular basis.

Now the challenge will be to keep this up and establish a good routine at home.

So far, so good

Contrary to what many of my friends thought, January 1^st was a great day to start my new diet and exercise regimen. My boyfriend and I woke up late, had the day to ourselves and could focus on kicking things off properly. We made a list of food to buy, prepared healthy and leisurely meals and did our first workout together.

I got a few days to get used to the new routine at home while I was off from work, and then had to go off to SF for the week. That was a bit more daunting, since as I'm sure most of you know, it's almost impossible to stay on a diet during a business trip for three reasons:

• Conference room cookies
  
• Business dinners & drinks
  
• Break room goodies
  

Our office is particularly challenging, since it's a small company and the break room is constantly stocked with yummy snacks. One of the guys brought home chocolate from Germany which was left out on a plate for the whole world to see and smell (which made me feel a bit like Ulysses as he sailed by the Sirens – without the physical restraint of being tied to the mast), there were all kinds of great cookies and crackers, and Wednesday is bagel day.

But fear not sports fans, my will prevailed and I bypassed the tin of wasabi peas (which are just awesome, btw), and reached for a pear instead. Actually, I need to take a moment here and talk about the pears. I had never heard of them before, but apparently there's such a thing as a "fragrant pear" which I'm told is available in Asian markets (at least in SF). I have to tell you, it took me by complete surprise and has ruined me for regular pears from here on out. It was the crispest, sweetest and most delectable piece of fruit I've ever eaten, and I'm going to scour the Philadelphia markets for them when I get home. http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/15/dining/15fruit.html

I did drink voluminous amounts of fizzy water and green tea to take the edge off, which resulted in many sprints to the ladies room, but all in all, the week went fine.

To my delight, I can attribute a fair amount of my unfailing will power to the scoring system, which means that I've found something that works for me. Unlike all of the diet infomercials out there, I'm fully aware that everyone is different, and what works for one person might not work for another.

I'm an immediate gratification junkie, and so it's important for me to see the immediate benefits (or consequences) of my actions. Unfortunately, when you're dieting without the help of pills or surgery, it can be a very slow process and progress is measured in weeks and months, not days. With our program, the impact of eating "just one piece of chocolate" or skipping a workout is immediately apparent in your daily score. I can absolutely say that I made different choices than I would have made in the past when the impact of my daily choices wasn't as clear.

As a result, I'm happy to report that I got straight 5's in the eating column for the entire week!

I believe that it's extremely important to acknowledge and celebrate little wins, so here's me celebrating.

Yippeeeeeee!!!!!

The night before…

We had a really fabulous time on New Year's Eve surrounded by a group of friends. At this point, I have to digress and give a shout out to Alma de Cuba in Philly http://www.almadecubarestaurant.com/

I'm a complete nut about Customer Experience (a topic that I'm sure I'll rant about more at some point), and the manager there turned what could have been a really bad experience into a great one.

Specifically, we had a group of 6 and had pre-paid the $90/person for dinner. We had a 9pm seating (there were 3 that night), and we arrived promptly. Our table wasn't ready when we arrived, so we got a table in the bar/dance floor area. That's was OK for awhile, since we were comfortable, able to get drinks, and the servers were walking around with appetizers. After about an hour or so, the natives started to get restless. When we inquired about our table, we were informed that the prior party hadn't yet left, but that they were hopeful that it would be soon. Well, as they say at Hertz, "not exactly".

At the 2 hour mark, the natives were both hungry and restless and we started making inquiries into the availability at other nearby restaurants (I know, I know….I can almost hear you saying, "what, you were trying to get ressies at a restaurant in Philly at 11pm on New Year's Eve, are you crazy?") Well yes, but I chock that up to hunger and impatience. We told the manager that we were exploring other options and that we expected to get a full refund for the night. In case you've been wondering, here's the part where he swoops in and saves the day. He apologized for the umpteenth time and told us that he'd absolutely refund our $$ and pick up the cost of all of our drinks that we had up to that point if we decided to go elsewhere. However (and this is the really cool part), he really hoped that we would stay since our table was really almost ready, and he'd be happy to cover the cost of the entire night for all of us.

Well, the natives might have been hungry and restless, but we're not stupid, and we knew a good deal when we heard one, so we stayed. True to his promise, we were seated shortly thereafter and had a fabulous dinner. In addition to the prix fixe meal and the drinks beforehand, we ordered 2 bottles of wine which he picked up as well – pretty cool. Other than the rather hefty tip we left (as a former waitress, I would never penalize the staff if I got good service), the night was completely free, which is an awesome thing in this economy.

As a result, I will absolutely go back to Alma de Cuba and will recommend it to all my friends and anyone else who will listen.

Back to the topic at hand though, I ate and drank pretty steadily from 9pm until around 1am (it was a multi-course meal, and the main entrée was served at midnight), and so I rolled into January 1^st like an overstuffed turkey. Other than the fact that I felt like crap, it was OK, since I was really looking forward to starting our program and getting back into a healthy lifestyle.

The plan...

Having started the diet/exercise thing a bunch of times, I know that it’s mostly a matter of will for me – both the will TO do (exercise) and NOT to do (eat badly).

Since I’m all about learning from my past experiences, I decided that the most important part of our regimen for me was that it address the “will” issue.
Other than that, there were three key requirements:

1. Clear guidelines on diet and exercise – I don’t do well with grey in these areas, since it’s too easy to rationalize bad behavior.
2. Since my boyfriend and I are doing this together, we needed a way to be supportive without being obnoxious.
3. It had to be simple to do and track

After a few months of discussion (we’ve been planning this since November), we decided to make a game/competition out of it. There are three rules:

1. Each of us needed to come up with our individual diet and exercise goals -- the “do’s” and “do not” list.
2. We created a point system to track our daily activities.
3. Scores would be tallied at the end of each week, month and quarter, and the winner would get a “prize”

The point system had to be simple, and we had to have an easy way to keep track of our scores in a central location – since each of us travels a lot.

Believe it or not, there was quite the discussion, deliberation and debate about the point system – should it be a 3 point, 5 point or 10 point scale, what constitutes a 1 and do we use the same or individual measures?

I was advocating for a smaller scale, since I have no idea how you decide whether something’s a 7 or an 8, and I wanted us to use the same criteria as much as possible to keep it simple.

After using our friends as mediators (thanks to all involved), we compromised on the following method:

• Every day, you can get a maximum of 10 points
  o 5 points for eating
  o 5 points for exercise

• You start off each day with a 5 for eating and a 0 (zero) for exercise

• Eating points are decremented when you “cheat”, based on the severity
  o For me, it’d be -1 for pasta, -2 for a sweet and -3 for alcohol.

• Exercise points are incremented based on the amount and type of exercise
o For us, a 5 is 90 minutes of intense exercise

We selected Google documents for tracking purposes, since we could create a spreadsheet that was sharable and accessible online. Then we weighed ourselves on this fancy schmancy scale that that calculates things like bone mass and body fat (by body part – yikes!) and we were ready to go.

Boldly going into 2009

2008 came and went in a flash, and here it is January, and the dreaded number 45 is peering at me from around the corner.

All in all, my life is great, and I am truly thankful for all of the wonderful things and people in my life. That said, I've never been a fan of mediocrity, so if I want to be "the best that I can be", I better get crackin'.

Taking a quick inventory, I've got an amazing guy, wonderful friends, an awesome house, and a job that makes me excited to get up in the morning. Finances are OK, but just like the rest of the world, I need to step up my savings plan. So...that just leaves the health and fitness thing, and, as they say in the corporate world, that's a big area of opportunity for me.

There was a time a few years ago when I had the health and fitness thing nailed. I was eating well, working out with a trainer, and going to the gym 3-5 times a week. I could do a 60 minute kick-boxing class one day, spinning the next and at my best I did 100 real pushups in one training session.

The story is a little different these days.

I had a hysterectomy at the end of 2007 and I never got back into a workout regimen. On top of that, I started eating like crap, which clearly didn't help. I'm sure the result won't be a surprise to anyone reading this - I gained 15 pounds, I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit, I can’t stand my reflection, I feel like crap and a 30 minute cardio session tuckers me out.

But... before you start throwing me a pity party, don't forget that I started this rant with a commitment to getting back on the right track. The question is how to get from where I am to where I wanna be.

At this point, I should note that I’m a highly logical individual, and I needed to take a rational approach which means no fad diets, drugs or other extreme measures. Also, based on prior experience, I’ve learned that there’s no magic to getting into shape – eat the right amount of the right foods and exercise 4-5 times a week for at least 20 minutes.

The problem is…that it’s hard, which is why there’s so many ads for weight loss pills and quick-fix programs. Also, I’ve been down this road before, and I must admit that it’s a little daunting to start again over 5 years later.

So…remember that amazing guy I talked about earlier? Well, he too was ready to start getting back into a healthy lifestyle, and so we decided to climb that hill together, which is awesome, since it’s much easier to do this when your partner is supportive and coming along for the ride.

Of course, the issue is never starting a healthy regimen (especially in January), it’s about keeping it up. So…we put our heads together and came up with a plan…